Beeker's Words

Back in the beginning of December,  I purchased a set of Christmas cards at a Barnes and Noble, that is not my local Barnes and Noble.  They were made of a lovely card stock and had a bird sitting on a branch on the outside and Season’s Greetings written on the inside.  Simple and lovely.  I got home and wrote out the first card.  Upon pulling out the envelopes, I find that all 21 envelopes in the box were sealed.  I called the store where I bought them and I was told to return them to my local store.  Unfortunately my local store never had the cards in stock and the other stores were sold out of the cards.  I picked out new cards, checked the envelopes and learned an important lesson:

Always check the cards and the envelopes before buying stationary at Barnes and Noble.

Well fast forward to a few days after Christmas and I walked into my local Barnes and Noble and there was a huge sale table with cards and calendars on the table.  I decided to look through and I was excited when I found a box of the cards just like the ones I had returned. Well, I had to apply my new life lesson, so I open the box only to discover the card I had written on sitting on top of the sealed envelopes. When I returned the item apparently it was just restocked. I spoke to customer service and explained what had happened and asked that they get rid of the cards. They apologized and assured me this never happens and they will make sure they are labeled damaged and properly disposed of. I learned another important lesson:

Barnes and Noble restocks damaged return items, so check every last thing you buy for damage.

My friends and family got a chuckle out of this story. I posted what had happened to my Facebook account.  Well last week my best friend was shopping in our local Barnes and Noble. She had been with me when I originally bought the cards. Well she is a bargain shopper and she was going through the Christmas cards.  She came across a box of Christmas cards with a bird on the front. She had to look. Sitting on top was the Christmas card I had written and all 21 sealed envelopes.  She took them to customer service. Explained what had happened. OF COURSE THEY WERE HORRIFIED!  They put a sticky on it, wrote damaged and placed it behind the counter, so that it would not be restocked by accident.  She called me. I was perturbed but I learned another important lesson:

My local Barnes and Noble is extremely unorganized and could give a crap about their customers.

Well today I decided to go to my local Barnes and Noble to pick up a couple of books about traveling to London and the UK.  I walked up to get into line to pay and right next to the line is a table with sale items such as calendars and you guessed it, Christmas cards. I look down and there they were…I can spot these cards from 100 feet now, much less on the table right next to the check out counter. I picked them up, took a deep breathe and opened the box of cards.  The card I wrote was not on top! For a moment, I thought wow I am jaded, they had to get rid of those cards by now, maybe they had another box in stock.  I decided to follow the first rule, which was to check the envelopes. Sure enough they were all sealed. Then I decided to follow the second rule, so I counted the cards and sure enough they had thrown out the card I had written on, but put the rest in the box and restocked the item. Which brings me to my third lesson, Barnes and Noble can’t organize their staff or stock.  I went up to the customer service counter, asked for a manager and explained what happened for the fourth time.  I was assured the matter would be handled immediately. I learned another important lesson:

Barnes and Noble lies, lies, lies.

I now have daydreams about finding the cards again in a future visit.  I have thought about carrying a trash can with me and burning them in the middle of the store. I have thought about ripping them into confetti bits and tossing them at customers as they enter. I have thought about taking a Sharpie to the outside of the box.  I have thought about screaming “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”, at the top of my lungs and collapsing to the floor kicking and flailing my arms. In the end, I have concluded I won’t be doing anything that could get me arrested and I WILL NOT be going to my local Barnes and Noble for anything in the near future.