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The Talk

April 6th, 2008 · 10 Comments · Humor

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Parenting is the hardest job in the world in my opinion. I watch my sisters and friends struggle to make sure their children are happy, healthy and not playing in traffic. I still want kids after my friend’s son engaged the “backup boosters” in my Xterra, which caused my backdoor to open while driving on the New Jersey Parkway. I now know about kid safety locks and the other fine points of child proofing your home. I have been thinking about sex education because two of my cousins are expecting. They are young, uneducated, unemployed and about to become parents. I wonder if anyone ever said anything to them about safe sex. This got me to thinking about my own experiences. Growing up my mom wanted to make sure we were all older before having kids. She was 19 when I was born and wanted us to have the experiences she missed out on. My mom never had the Talk with my sisters and me. Instead she bought us the book, “Where Did I Come From”. I think I was eight and I asked my mom where babies came from. I recall her turning pale and avoiding the question. A family counselor told my mom to buy me the book. I imagine the counselor also told my mom to talk to me, but my mom embarrasses easily. She gave me the book and never said another word. It explained things in more detail than I ever wanted to know. I am sure the cartoon illustrations were intended to be kid friendly, but they absolutely horrified me. I was eight! I gave her the book back and told her that I understood that I was never to have sex because it made you gain weight, grow hair in funny places, meant you had to touch a boy, and if all of these things occurred you would spit out a baby from your nono area. That was the end of my Talk. This apparently repeated every few years as my sisters dared to ask where babies come from. As teens, my mom made it clear her choice for us was abstinence but that she was realistic and made up promise that if we decided a different path that we could come to her to talk before acting.

Did you have the Talk?

Where Did I Come From?Where Did I Come From?

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10 Comments so far ↓

  • Jillian

    I think my mom had the talk with me. But since I was raised in church, I grew up thinking the minute I had premarital sex, God would hate me and send me to Hell. Good times.

  • blueyes

    Woo, thankfully I had that exact book growing up and nothing like Jillian’s experience lol

  • pilotg2

    Never got the book or the talk. One day there was a playboy laying out on the coffee table. That was pretty much all “the talk” my brothers and I got. And sex ed in school.

    I think it would be very interesting to do a survey on the differences between “the talk” for girls versus boys.

  • Mike Lawson

    I am not sure if I got a talk. When I was all dressed up in my tuxedo ready to take off on prom night my dad handed me a wad of cash and said, “be safe.”

    I didn’t know if that was his sex-talk or his don’t-drink-and-drive-talk.

  • Mamaflo

    My father was the one who had “The Talk” with me, he was straight forward, got to the point without being wishy washy. He was also the one to talk with me about menstrual periods (yes I know we had and Odd family structure).
    I spoke with both my son and daughter when the time came (probably sooner than need be), made sure they were comfortable enough talking about the subject matter that they would ask for birth control should they decide to engage in sexual activity. I’ve never been one to be shy about topics that require being forthright.
    I don’t know what would have happened had I been handed a book or did the same with my own kids (they are 29 & 30).

  • Monique

    The talk? LOL.

    Neither of my parents mentioned it at all… but once I started dating a big time loser, my mother made an appointment for me to get birth control. I tried to explain to her that I wasn’t doing anything, and her response was “it’s better to start being safe now before you make the mistake later”.

    I guess that was her way of talking to me about it.

  • haleyhughes

    No official talks in my family. By the time I had the health unit in 6th grade, I’d been having my period for a year already. Fortunately, my sister had gotten her period only 6 months before me, so when it happened, I was like “Oh, that’s what all the fuss was about.”

    Sometime in junior high, I went to the local library and checked out a reference book. I think my mom was relieved when she saw me reading it.

    When I was 18, I made an appointment for myself at an OB/GYN and put myself on birth control. Paid cash for the appointment and told the doctor to never call the house to confirm future appointments. They were very cooperative — even sent me home with several months worth of free samples.

    Looking back, I think what my parents did do was stress how much hard work children are and how having them too early could have serious consequences on your life.

  • fragileheart

    My parents didn’t have any talks with us kids. At least they didn’t with me. I have yet to ask my brother if they had the talk with him. I am definitely going to be different with my kids!

    I learnt about sex ed when I first had sex :T from a guy who was 3 years older than me and should have known better! lol He was a sweet guy at the end of it all, but he really broke my heart. Anyway….

  • fragileheart

    wee my face is on your blog again :) thanks Beekers!

  • Lulu

    I think I had the same book! Different cover but the same book all the same. Then my mum gave it to my brother a couple of years later! hehe

    Sex education here in Japan is almost non existant but I do hear they are making more of an effort in public schools now. I hope so because abortion seems to be the most commonly used protection…

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