1. “I’m pooping in here.” (This takes complete silence and concentration.)

2. “Focus. Focus on me.” (As she snaps her fingers at her mom.)

3. “My favorite color is changing on my birthday… No I don’t know what it is going to be. I just know it is going to change.”

4. “Butt-crack, Butt-crack, Butt-crack.”

5. “That’s President Washington and his best friend was Lincoln.”

6. “It’s Peanut Butter Jelly Time.”

7. “What’d you Say?” (When he doesn’t want to recognize your point.)

8. “You got a booby trap!” (She is talking about a bra.)

9. “I farted.” (Spoken as loudly as possible in a very crowded restaurant.)

10. “I know, how about we….” (when he wants to redirect to do something else.)

11. “Disgusting old people!”(She doesn’t know what the word means. But people react.)

12. “Knock, Knock. Orange. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” (Forget the punch line. She can’t get past this point without starting to laugh.)

13. “There is an evil faction in the living room.” (He will be dictator of a small island nation, SOON.)

“RICHMOND, Va. – It’s one thing to dangle fuzzy dice from a rear view mirror, but decorating a trailer hitch with a large pair of rubber testicles might be a bit much in Virginia.

State Del. Lionel Spruill introduced a bill Tuesday to ban displaying replicas of human genitalia on vehicles, calling it a safety issue because it could distract other drivers.

Under his measure, displaying the ornamentation on a motor vehicle would be a misdemeanor punishable by a maximum fine of $250.

He said the idea came from a constituent whose young daughter spotted an example of the trail hitch adornment and asked her father to explain it.

“‘I didn’t know what to tell her,’” Spruill said the constituent told him before Spruill vowed to stop such displays.

“I said, ‘Sir, I’m going to be a laughingstock, but I’m going to do it,’” he said.”

Oh Blue Balls….

I think the things are stupid and redneck comes to mind everytime I see them. This is a waste of government time and energy. The last I checked there is such a thing as freedom of speech in America. Heaven forbid this child go on a field trip to a farm. Do we start making cows and other animals wear pants?

I was Stumbling and came across this “Untold Story of Calvin and Hobbes” by Robot Chicken. I love Calvin and Hobbes and I have missed them everyday since their last strip 13 years ago. Yes, it has been 13 years since Bill Watterson stopped making new Calvin and Hobbes strips.

I was on Adrants.com and I saw a link to the ad above. The company Ronzoni is promoting its use of calcium in making pasta, so you can save a cow from its daily toil and give it a day off.  As they point out on Adrants.com, it is cruel to not milk a cow and I agree that PETA should be notified of this ad. What cracked me up though is that if you harm a cow by not milking it, they will give money to Big Brothers Big Sisters of America. So I am at a loss as to what I should do…..promote animal cruelty for the sake of the children or do I hug a cow and tell myself that kids learn everything from TV anyway?

P.S. If you leave the site up with sound, you can pretend you are on a farm all day!

Plan59.com is a site that promotes commercial ads from the 1950’s. I think these ads of kids are especially funny and I haven’t laughed so hard since the 1997 Welch’s grape juice ads that featured Emily Mae Young. A little scary but still quite funny. You can purchase these ads and many others via Plan59.com’s site.

“MONTERREY, Mexico (AFP) – A 10-year-old Mexican boy glued his hand to his bed to avoid going back to school after the Christmas break, authorities said Monday.

“I thought if I was glued to the bed, they couldn’t make me go to school,” the boy, Diego, told AFP. “I didn’t want to go, the holidays were so much fun.”

“I remembered my mom had bought a very strong glue,” he said of the industrial strength shoe glue he used to stick his hand to the bed’s metal headboard, where he stayed stuck for two hours.

His mother Sandra Palacios was unable to free him and called paramedics and police to help. Diego watched cartoons while they worked to unglue him, eventually using a spray to dissolve the chemical adhesive.”

We recently had friends who son also had difficulty adjusting to his school schedule after the Christmas holidays. I can’t wait to say, “At least he did not glue himself to his bed.”