Beeker's Words

Sara Schaefer Munoz posted an article on The Wall Street Journal titled Life’s Not Fair: How to break it to your kids. She discusses this topic and how Betsy Brown Braun has authored a new book called “Just Tell Me What to Say,”. Braun recommends the following things:

• Eliminate “that’s not fair” from your own daily usage. Adults say this more than they realize.
• Stop trying to treat your kids equally. If one child needs new shoes, buy shoes only for him. Trying to be equal only fuels the child’s belief that life is supposed to be fair.
• Tolerate the protest. Getting agitated can show the child that she’s got reason to be upset. Instead, say, “I know. Life sure isn’t fair.”
• Allow your child to be disappointed. Learning to tolerate disappointment is one of the most important childhood lessons and crucial to independent adulthood.

I thought about how often I say,”That’s not fair.”. I say it quite a bit. I always catch myself and groan,”Life is not fair.”.  I want to know who sold us the ‘Life is Fair’ ocean front property in Arizona! Why are we so afraid to let children see that life is not always how you want it to be. Unfair moments are times to see the broader picture, to think strategically about issues, to problem solve, and to learn that life has its disappointments. I think we are raising a generation that is going to have to face a lot of disappointment. America’s future generations will not have it better than their parents. They are going to have to work hard and everything will not be to their satisfaction. Disappointment should be a call for action and not a time for self pity.  I think if we fail to teach children to expect everything to go their way, then we handicap them.