This year we celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary. We had decided on gifts to mark the occasion and then we were both hit with inspiration.  Instead of buying a piece of jewelry that would sit in a box and instead of buying the complete works of Robert Heinlein in their leather bound editions, we should instead go on a trip and create some new memories! We have such fun on our trips and I would rather have those special moments than a box from Tiffany. We have decided on London and the surrounding areas. If you have been there, please drop a note about your favorite place in London!

I have been away from blogging as I handled a lot of personal things.  Our first IVF cycle failed, my mother has been ill, I had a flu/strep throat combo, my 13 year old cat has been sick and the holiday season just came out of nowhere!   Pete and I are charging forward with our second IVF attempt.  I am very nervous and trying really hard to balance a sense of hope with a sense of absolute dread.  My doctor performed a test to check my anti-mullerian hormone.  The test results suggest that I have a small egg supply.  This means that I won’t produce as many eggs as most women going through IVF.  On the 8th of January I start my stimulation medications. My hips and shoulders are already aching in anticipation of the shots that I have to have have each morning and evening.  I am just praying for a chance and trying my best to keep my spirits up. The Christmas season has been a blessing because it has given us a chance to step back and to give thanks for all the wonderful people in our life.  It is so easy to concentrate on what you think is missing  versus embracing what you have.

Lancaster Quilt and Textile Museum

Lancaster Central Market

Buchanan’s Gardens

Shenck’s Mill Covered Bridge

Wheatland- Home of President James Buchanan

Siegrist’s Mill Covered Bridge

Lately death has been on my mind. It has been a running theme in every book, song, or movie, that I have come across in the last week. We watched Band of Brothers over the weekend and last night I read Elizabeth Berg’s novel, “A Year of Pleasures”.  It is the story of a widow who relocates to the Midwest after her husband’s death and what she goes through. I cried and cried as I read the book and I have decided that I have to die before my husband. I think he would handle the situation better.  In my mind, I have already scheduled his next physical, removed all fat and salt from his diet, and implemented a new walking regiment.  Something is really wrong with me. I was reading this morning about these poor people who died in an explosion at a Slim Jim plant. I am hard pressed to come up with anything more depressing than my last minutes being in a burning beef jerky plant.  Burning and drowning are just about the worst ways to die in my opinion. Not that there is a good way to die. No one wants to die, well except for martyrs.  Does anyone else fixate on crazy crap like this?

I haven’t been posting all that much lately because life has just been nuttier than a Payday bar. I am smack in the middle of the next round of fertility treatment. I have been injecting myself twice a day in addition to taking my Metformin, a fistful of vitamins and drinking gallons of Smart Water.  At times I feel like I am floating.  I am in the doctor’s office for blood work and internal sonograms every other day. I actually broke down and ordered Smart Tags for our cars because of the frequency I find us paying tolls to go to the doctor’s office. The process is draining but worth every minute! We took our nieces to see UP in 3-D this afternoon. Those kids adore my husband. He is better than a swimming pool, a swing set, and ice cream rolled together in those kids’ minds. The movie made me cry like a baby, but these days virtually anything makes me cry. My husband saved some baby ducks from a storm drain…I cried. I have given up watching the news because I cry. My brother-in-law’s 75 year old aunt, who I had never met, passed away and I cried. I have packs of tissues hidden everywhere!  We have found a new place to rent. If all goes well, movers will be packing us up in 6 weeks.  Things have not improved with the neighbor and I think I might have a criminal defense if I broke into his house and destroyed his stereo, TV, electric guitar, and amp. I might have to make restitution, but I don’t think I would get jail time.  The hormones made me do it.  In addition I have decided I need botox. I bought prescription sunglasses and I have noticed that my mark of angst has deepened. What is a mark of angst? A mark of angst is the crevice that develops between your eyes because you scrunch your forehead whenever you are angry, perplexed, frustrated, or the sun is just too bright.  My friends say this is the hormones talking and that I would never get botox, but I am not so sure about that.  So Life is busy and a little frustrating, but I am alive!

photo by: (A3R)angelrravelor(A3R)

I was in the store the other day and I was drawn into a conversation with some ladies about how to cut household expenses. I told them them that one of the best ways I had cut expenses was when my husband and I got rid of cable television. We use to pay about $70 a month or $840 a year for cable. We realized that we didn’t watch it enough to make it worth the expense. We decided to cut back to basic cable which costs $15 a month or $180 a year. In addition, I take advantage of Hulu.com and abc.com to watch programs for free. We also have a lot of DVDs and our friends do as well. We started trading DVDs around, so there is plenty to watch. I no longer have Netflix because I always find something to watch in a friend’s  DVD library or even better our local library has an amazing collection of DVDs.  One lady said that her kids could not live without television and I said, “Yes, they can. Imagine what they could do with the time they are spending sitting in front of the television.”  I am not quite ready to jump to no cable at all, but I have been thinking about it.  What are you doing to save money?

Decision 1: Pete turned down the job in NYC!  This is a really good thing. It would have been more money but I would have been an IT widow. Apparently the gentleman offering the job was incredulous that Pete would walk away from so much money.  Money apparently makes his world revolve.  I say, “A rich asshole, is still an asshole.” I actually like spending time with my husband, as much as this seems to puzzle some.

Decision 2: We are going to embrace our eccentric (defined as bi-polar for those up north) relative because that is what good southern people do.  We like our tea sweet and no family celebration would be complete without someone doing something that makes us all say, “Bless their heart!”  I hope offering love and moral support will help her.

Decision 3: We are moving out of this house. Our neighbor is building an ark for the next flood. Lately inspiration to build hits between the hours of 3 p.m. and 2 a.m.  I wonder if it is too much to ask the next landlord for a psych evaluation of the neighbors?

I think we have accomplished a lot.

About the only thing I love more than a massage is a pedicure.  I always use OPI “I’m Not Really a Waitress” red for professional pedicures. I have tried to use the color myself but it always looks as though I have stubbed each of my toes.  I couldn’t color in the lines as a child and as an adult I can’t keep the polish on the nail. I decided to treat myself today because I have been just a wee bit stressed out. The last round of fertility treatment did not work. I thought I would be off medication for a couple weeks, but I then find out that my doctor wants me to take additional medications before the next treatment. I had decided to fly down to Austin for a girls weekend, if the process failed. The new medications require sonograms and doctor supervision, so no traveling.  On top of this, my husband and I discovered that a family member has a pretty severe case of bipolar disorder. We found this out after flying her in for a two week visit that coincided with the fertility treatment. My poor husband had a manic depressive and a raging hormonal woman on his hands.  I won’t go into the details but I cried a lot. In addition, my husband has been offered an amazing new job in NYC but taking it would mean major life changes for us in the middle of fertility treatment. Are you following all of this?  I love salons and I love the free advice that complete strangers will give you. Today my nail tech helped put everything in perspective. She said, “You got a good man, a loving family, and you live by the beach.  Everything else will work itself out in time.” You gotta love pedicure counseling!

I made Cherry Crisp from a recipe I found on Foodess.com. I recommend doubling the crust and adding a bit more cinnamon. It was an amazing ending to dinner last night. I have also made homemade Sweet Potato fries and Curry and Dijoned Baked Chicken. Both are excellent recipes! I am counting the days until the Farmer’s Markets re-open.

I realized that Little One is going to be 13 next month. Then I followed her around taking pictures. She was not amused.

I also organized my big cooking utensil drawer, so that I am not digging while cooking. I set aside all gadgets that I no longer use for a yard sale sometime next month. I have all my spatulas and other cooking spoons organized in pottery jars next to the stove. I found these great Cuisinart bins and they are perfect for organizing an over sized drawer.  I can find everything so easily!

I repotted all my house plants. I highly recommend Marshall’s if you are looking for new flower pots. I was not happy with the selection at Home Depot, Lowe’s or even my local garden center. Martha Stewart has great instructions for making your own potting soil.

I bought new photo albums and went through all my photos. I got rid of any photos I could not identify, duplicate pictures, and any that just didn’t make sense to keep. How many pictures do you need of your Christmas tree from 2000? I think one or two will suffice. I organized the photos according to date and put them into plain black photo albums. I also have a plan to organize my digital photos, but I think that will have to be a rainy day project.

I love accomplishing all of this because come summer I don’t feel guilty hitting the beach!