You are not seeing things. That is an ultrasound of our baby. Pete and I are expecting a little girl this July!  I am 23 weeks today and she is perfect.  Many of you know that we stopped fertility treatment last July after our IVF with egg donor cycle failed. We had tried everything and we accepted that having our own child was not going to happen.  We prayed that God would help us accept this and maybe we could look at adoption a year from now. Pete took the job in Northern Virginia and we bought a house. I had decided to go to graduate school and work part-time.   After settling into the new house,  I wasn’t feeling well and I thought I had kidney problems.  Pete was joking and told me I was pregnant. I dismissed him but then I thought about it and my period was really late. Two sticks later, we are making an appointment with an ob/gyn.  Dr. Wolfe confirmed that we are pregnant and all I can say is miracles do happen.  It has been two months since she gave us the good news and as of our ultrasound today Charlotte Grace is perfect and should be arriving around July 12th!

photo by: British Red Cross

This photo has just haunted me today.  I don’t know anything about the boy other than he was injured in the earthquake and was receiving care in a Port-au-Prince hotel.  I would consider myself a somewhat jaded person after years on working in the nonprofit sector, but this tragedy has really struck a nerve. I have watched television all day and read every scrap of information online.  The history of this nation reads like a Greek tragedy.  I wanted to do something and after looking at all the ways to help, I decided to make a donation to fund direct aid to the country through a organization called Mercy Corps.  I  have made donations to Mercy Corps in the past to assist other countries in times of natural disasters. If you would like to donate any amount please click on this link to my fundraising page with Mercy Corps.

I love Whole Paycheck (Whole Foods). They carry a number of products that I fell in love with while living in Austin, TX and they typically have the best produce around.  Last night I saw this story about how an employee was going through their bananas and found one of the deadliest spiders on the planet taking a stroll.  I HATE SPIDERS. I mean I REALLY HATE SPIDERS.  Call me naive but I never once gave thought that the produce in the store could have anything on it besides an occasional fruit fly. I think I am going to have to wear gardening gloves and carry bug spray to buy produce from now on!

TMZ released the above photo which is supposedly Rihanna after Chris Brown attacked her. I am not sure of the validity of the image but you can click on the photo to read more from TMZ.  There is no excuse for physical violence. I am trying really hard not to wish a good old butt kicking for Chris Brown. So I will wish for the next best thing…I hope his career dries up faster than Texas in August. I hope that all women see this and realize that no one deserves to be a human punching bag. Please get help.

Update: You can now visit her website to give donations. (www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com)

Holy Shit….that was my first thought when I read about the woman in California who just gave birth to octuplets.  We have been going through fertility treatment and this story was more than a little unsettling.  Everyone jokes around about the litter we could have and  I can’t imagine us caring for eight newborns.  Every decision we have made about fertility treatment has been done with the intent of not having multiple births.  News of the octuplets is followed by the fact that she has six other children at home.  All were conceived through IVF.  I was flabbergasted to learn that she is a single mother who depends on her parents to support and care for her children.  Today I read that she does receive food stamps and three of her children receive  payments from the federal government due to their disabilities. But she has the money to go through expensive IVF procedures? I have to question this woman’s sanity. You have six children, three with disabilities, and you think it is a good idea to go through another IVF cycle? She claims she did not think it would work.  Then why do it? Clearly IVF has worked for you in the past if you have six kids.   I have read that there are those that believe  it is her right to have as many children as she wants.  I understand her not being able to go through with selective reduction, which is essentially terminating a few of the pregnancies to increase the odds of  carrying full term healthy babies.   I do however question her decision to get pregnant when she was already having problems caring for her existing family.   She is a student.  I can recall my college years and I can’t imagine doing that with six children.  When you go through fertility treatment there is a deliberateness about everything you do.  There are no whoopsies.  You can stop everything up until that last moment.  Not many people have that luxury when conception occurs.  While I am laying on a table waiting for the procedure to start all I can think about is giving a child a good life.  According to her all she could think about is wanting more children.  I am less concerned about Ms. Suleman’s rights as I am for those children whose single, unemployeed mother decided to expand the family to  fourteen children.  She does not have a job. She is currently living off of student loans and her parents according to her own statements. My mother was a single mom with my two sisters and me.  She worked two jobs and we did not see her a lot. There were times when we barely got by. My sisters and their husbands have three children each. I watch them work hard to meet the needs of their children and to afford life’s necessities.  You can say that all children need is love and I say bull crap.  These eight babies are going to need medical care and  assistance for years to come. These children are likely to have physical disabilities, chronic health problems, and lets not forget the developmental delays and learning disabilities they will have to overcome.  Then think about feeding, clothing, housing, and trying to meet the emotional needs of all fourteen children.   Not many people can finance the needs of that many kids. The last time I checked Bill Gates and Warren Buffett are not adopting.  There is always Angelina and Brad, but I don’t think they are into domestic adoption. It sounds as though her mother and father are tired of caring for her and the children, which means it won’t be long before welfare plays a larger role in her life.  This means that you and I will be supporting her right to have fourteen children.  If you are okay with this, then why should she stop having children? Oh by the way, it is going to cost upwards of 3 million to fund the babies’ care while in the hospital. Ms. Suleman thinks she is being vilified because of her single mother status. I think she is being vilified because given the economy and her own poor finances she paid for an expensive treatment to conceive a child.  While people across our nation are sacrificing and going without, she decided to have children that we as taxpayers will have to support.  She will not be held accountable.    Her shortsighted thinking is a symptom of our social problems.  We want everything now and expect to not be held responsible for the consequences of our actions. Someone else will take care of that.

photo by: Chris Nakashima-Brown

REUTERS/Jim Young (UNITED STATES)

I thought this was a lovely photo of our new president and his wife!

photo by: @t

Pete and I leave for Munich on Friday! We are going to spend two weeks in southern Germany and parts of Austria. I can’t wait. My family was stationed in Stuttgart, Germany for four and a half years from 1988 to 1993. I have such wonderful memories of Germany, especially at Christmas time. This will be Pete’s first trip to Germany and I know he will love it. There is no surprise as to what everyone is getting this Christmas. I can’t wait to explore the Christmas markets!

How many times did you hear this growing up?  I have met kids that could test a saint and I am amazed at how their parents keep their cool.  I think parents have the toughest job in the world but I was amazed when I read this news story out of Nebraska. Nebraska decided to expand their safe haven law to include any child. Safe Haven laws allow for people who do not want their newborns to drop the child off at hospitals and fire houses. Well Nebraska decided this should apply to any child. Even the big ones. Apparently parents have decided to take the state up on this offer. Read below…

Nine siblings are among 11 children as old as 17 who were left at Omaha hospitals Wednesday under Nebraska’s unique and new safe haven law, which allows caregivers to abandon babies and teenagers alike at hospitals without fear of prosecution.

The law, originally intended to protect infants, was expanded in a legislative compromise to protect any “child.” Some have interpreted that to mean anyone under 19.

Gov. Dave Heineman, who signed the law, and some other former supporters are among those now saying changes are needed.

“People are leaving them off just because they can’t control them,” state Sen. Arnie Stuthman, who introduced the original bill, said Thursday. “They’re probably in no real danger, so it’s an easy way out for the caretaker.”

The nine siblings — five boys and four girls ages 1 to 17 — were left by their father, who was not identified, at Creighton University Medical Center’s emergency room, according to the Nebraska Department of Health and Human Services. Unrelated boys ages 11 and 15 also were surrendered Wednesday at Immanuel Medical Center.

At least 16 children have been abandoned since the law took effect in July, the state agency said.”

Peta has written a letter to Ben & Jerry’s asking them to use breast milk versus cow’s milk to make their ice cream. I would not mind a soy based option but I don’t really think I could stomach breast milk ice cream. What do you think?

“JERUSALEM (Reuters) – Guests at an Israeli wedding hall can now insert a credit card into a machine at its entrance, tap in a sum and leave a gift for the bride and groom.

“It’s new in Israel and the world,” Aya Alon Kaufman of the Gan Oranim hall in Tel Aviv said on Israel’s Channel 10 television. “It’s very convenient … guests can give a gift even if they forget their chequebooks.”

She said couples pay 500 shekels ($155) to rent the device, which resembles an automated teller machine, and the recorded funds are transferred into their bank account the next day.”

I understand that for a significant portion of this world, it is common to give cash gifts to newlyweds. It is however a gift, meaning there is no pressure and it is given of someone’s free will. I think people take gifts for granted and I have been horrified at more than one gift registry for weddings that I have been invited to attend.  (Suggestion to the engaged couple: Place a variety of items with a wide range of prices on your registry. If I have met you twice socially and your fiance has worked with me for 8 months, I am not spending $200 on a gift for you.) I just think it is the height of tackiness to rent a credit card machine for those who forgot their checkbooks.  I think good manners says you could wait the few days to receive a check from those who may have forgotten their check.  The only obligation for an attending guest is to show up on time.  Their gift is their presence on your special day. If they have a gift, it should be received with a smile and a prompt thank you after the wedding. If I ever see one of these at a wedding stateside, you better believe I will comment to the lovely couple.

I was reading the news and came across the announcement that the Duggar family is expecting another child. This is their 18th child! There is part of me that says she should have as many kids as she wants. They support their family and do not receive any government assistance.  Then there is the part of me that thinks those kids must crave attention and privacy. Not to mention that I cross my legs and cringe thinking about 18 kids popping out of me!  My grandmother was one of eight kids and my great-grandmother was one of 18 kids but that was because my great-great grandfather had two wives. His first wife had 10 children and then passed away. He married again and his second wife (my great-great grandmother) gave birth to 8 children. They lived in rural North Carolina on a farm. Apparently it was common to have large families in those days and they were blessed that their children survived a wide range of childhood illnesses that typically took the lives of many children.  I just don’t think I could handle 18 children. Could you handle 18 kids?

image by: programwitch

Take a moment and look around your home. Do you have multiple lights on? Is the television on while you are on your computer?  Do you leave everything plugged in even though you don’t use it regularly? Do you recycle? Over the last few years, Pete and I have tried to be more conscientious of how much we waste as a family. I would not say we are ready to join the Freegan movement but we do try to do our part to be mindful of not wasting.  We keep the thermostat set at 68. We drink filtered water versus bottled water. We turn off everything before leaving a room and unplug appliances not in use.  We plan out meals for the week and use our leftovers for lunches or turn them into a new meal such as a casserole. I am working to use sale circulars to determine our menus for the week to keep the cost of food down as well. When we first relocated to NJ we were renting a house. Last year we decided to move into a town-home which saved us $125 a month on rent and cut our energy costs by 40%. We will not be staying in NJ, so by cutting our costs while we live here, we can save for the house we plan to build.  I was watching an episode of Oprah from last week, where she challenged families to live with less. I was embarrassed for the Dominguez family.  They were so wasteful, that the father was borrowing money to cover their bills. They were paying $1000 a month just for gas and electricity. They were throwing away garbage bags filled with wasted food, while spending a minimum of $200 a week on groceries. I just thought it was a shame that the mother and kids knew there were financial problems, yet did nothing to help the situation. The family had to follow the following rules for ONE week:

1. No eating out and no wasting of food that is brought into the house.

2. No bottled water.  A Brita water filter was given to the family.

3. No disposable plates, cups, or napkins.

4. Only one hour of television a day. No IPODs or Video Games.

5. Computers could only be used for homework.

6. The thermostat is set at 69.

7. Only wash clothing that is dirty.

8. No shopping for anything other than groceries.

9. Showers are not to exceed 8 minutes

The family estimated they saved $400-$600 dollars that week by following these rules. The experience seemed to open the eyes of the mother and children to their financial situation as well as to the amount of waste they generated. I would be interested to see where they are in a year. Could your family follow these rules for one week? I would love to hear how you and your family are living with less. Please leave ideas in the comment section!

photo by: Carol Esther

8:15am: Awaken to Bloomberg Live Radio. Guess what? Corn and wheat futures are projecting through the roof. My Fruity Pebbles are going to be more expensive than Shrimp Cocktail.

9:00am: Pete kisses me goodbye and then herds the kitties downstairs for food.

9:15am: I can hear my neighbors getting busy. I give them a 8 for enthusiasm. Anything that causes their dog to bark gets 7 or better.

9:30am: My cat, Infiniti G37 (Kirby), goes bonkers. He climbs the living room wall. (I really mean he climbed the wall.) I catch him and trim his claws. His spelunking days are done for at least two weeks.

9:40am: I dab my wounds with Neosporin and grab my first glass of sweet tea.

10:00am: Start to vacuum.

10:00am & 30 seconds: Realize the vacuum bag is full and I have no spares.

10:01am: Make list of things to buy at Target. Decide to go to library, bank, and then Target.

10:30am: Talk to friend Nicole. She is scheduling us for pedicure & manicure next Wednesday. I hate strangers touching me, but I like my digits to look their best.

10:45am: Shower….I love the smell of Spring Green Vitabath!

11:30am-12:30pm: Library, Bank, Target. I had to buy Juno and Taylor Swift’s cd in addition to the vacuum bags.

12:40pm: Talk to sis in Louisiana. Everyone is sick and on their way to the doctor.

12:50pm: Council my friend Amp about her job.

1:00pm: Eat lunch while vacuuming. Grab second glass of sweet tea.

1:30pm: Talk to mom. Drink third glass of sweet tea.

2:00pm: Talk to Nicole. Wednesday is confirmed. Now the “day spa” wants you to give them a credit card number so that if you cancel with less than 24 hours until your appointment, they still charge for the service. My thought is that this is a bad business move. Things have a way of popping up for me at the last minute. I need service that is flexible. I probably won’t go there again unless they can take me as a walk-in.

2:15-4:00pm: More vacuuming. Clean kitchen. More sweet tea. Blaring my new CD. I love the single Our Song.

4:00-5:30pm: Read classifieds. Check email. Drop Entrecards. Contemplate what I can do for our friend’s new girlfriend who is visiting from the Philippines. Still not sure…inspiration will come.

5:30pm: Bake a cake. Prep dinner for tonight and tomorrow night. Notice a duck wondering in the backyard. That could explain why the cat went bonkers. Finish watching old shows on TiVO. I really like the show Big Bang Theory. I have a thing for geeks.

7:00pm: Start dinner.

8:00pm: Pete gets home. We eat dinner while watching Juno. (Favorite Line: His junk smells like pie.) I am now going to pick on hubby by continually saying, “Your junk should smell like pie.” I will always think of Juno as I eat my Orange Tic Tacs. I love the ending of the movie. You have to rent or buy it!

10:00pm: Blogging!

Men Create More Housework for Women

I can visualize all women nodding their heads as they read this title. The article goes on to report the following:

“Having a husband creates an extra seven hours of housework each week for women, according to a new study. For men, tying the knot saves an hour of weekly chores. “It’s a well-known pattern,” said lead researcher Frank Stafford, an economist at University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research. “Men tend to work more outside the home, while women take on more of the household labor.” He points out individual differences among households exist. But in general, marriage means more housework for women and less for men. “And the situation gets worse for women when they have children,” Stafford said.”

I think between my husband and our three cats they add a lot more than 7 hours a week. I can only imagine our house after being away for two weeks. I know my husband will do his best to pick up but we have huge differences with regards to what we consider clean. I attribute this to me having the better eyesight and noticing the details. Plus I grew up in a military household with mandatory cleaning details and spot checks. After 10 years I don’t want him to change and he embraces my neurotic cleaning tendencies. There is also the added bonus that my husband has been away at a guy’s weekend in West Virginia. Apparently there is a lot of mud. Do you think it would be asking too much if I requested he strip before entering the house and left everything in the garage?

Note to the husband: I am not complaining sweetie. I am simply observing.

The History of Easter