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Bad things will happen in the next 96 hours…

March 18th, 2008 · 6 Comments · Humor

So I have barricaded myself in my house. Why would I say this? Well I broke a chain letter sent by an acquaintance that I haven’t seen in years. I hate chain mail. I get a huge throbbing head ache when I open an email and there sits some flashing angel telling me I am going to hell if I don’t send it quickly to my 10 nearest and dearest. I once stated I was never going to open any email that had been forwarded. Well after deleting family updates and friend’s photos, I stopped doing that. I have asked everyone not to send these things but I always end up with one because, “I could not pass this up on the chance that it was real.”

Do you really think that if I forward a flashing leprechaun to 8 people in the next 10 minutes my life is going to change for the better? The kids that you are so worried about are not really missing. The girls below….NOT MISSING!


Check Snopes before you send out the notice to the 300 people in your address book. Plus if you are in Texas and I am in New Jersey. Do you really think someone is more likely to head to the Jersey shore over Mexico? If you don’t buy gas this Wednesday, guess what happens? You p.o. my husband and he spends the evening writing this discourse on why the strategy will not work. Last night he could only mutter and glare. This does not please me in any way, shape or form. Microsoft, Nike, GAP, Coca Cola, and Delta are not going to pay you money to forward an email. They will give Oprah, Dr. Phil, or Ellen something to give away on their shows and this is a lot more effective than approaching individuals to email their friends and family.

So, Please stop sending the husband and I chain letters, missing children notifications, virus warnings and any get rich quick emails. I know your intentions are good hearted and completely misguided. We love a good joke and we actually read family updates. But there is nothing worse than opening an email and finding a promise I will fall in a hole if I fail to forward the good luck and this:

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6 Comments so far ↓

  • haleyhughes

    Exactly. Thank you.

    I hate the emails that tell me to fill out a survey, then forward it to X number of friends and the person who sent it to me, so that person will know who his/her true friends are, or some such nonsense. Way to make me feel guilty.

  • B Carter

    If these things were true, I’d be dead 1000 times over, all of my friends would be rich from the Microsoft chain mails they sent, and my husband would have left before we had the chance to get married.

  • Kelly

    I’ve slowly trained my friends to not send these things to me. But every time I make a new friend, or reconnect with someone I haven’t seen in years, the training must be done all over again.

    I love the “send this to everyone you know, and send it back to me so I know you care” ones. Not.

    Oh, and the latest strategy is not to refrain from buying gas on Wednesday, but to not buy it from “Exxon or Mobil.” These people don’t even know that it’s ExxonMobil, as in one huge conglomerate.

  • Kat's Krackerbox

    I feel the same way! I’ve got something for you at my blog. Come by and pick it up!

  • Beekers

    Last night my husband decided to email our family member who sent us the gas spam. He sends the email and a minute later he receives a response from their server saying, “This user has blocked all email due to spam. Please fill out this request in order to submit email to this user. If they okay your request, we will forward your email to them.” I had to grab the husband to prevent him from beating his head on his desk.

  • fragileheart

    I don’t know why they’re still around after all these years, all my friends do the same as I do and delete them within sight of the words, “send this to # friends” whether there is a threat attached to it or not. I certainly would’ve died a horrible death years ago if any of that shit was true!

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